little remembrances

it is a very intimate thing to recognize someone you love by their handwriting. to see their scribble on a post it note and know what you’re having for dinner. to follow their recipe through the letters they’ve drawn. to see your name in their handwriting and know that their mind crossed over you. To feel them hug you through their sloped and smeared H’s and Y’s when they wish you the happiest of birthdays.

I think of you picking up the 21st birthday card sitting on my nightstand. How you reached for as soon as you laid your eyes on it because you recognized the lines and curves of your mother’s alphabet and it spoke to you by all the lists and notes and letters you’ve seen throughout your years. Happy 21st Birthday Stephanie. I had done the same a few days ago, hoping it’d speak to me what I wanted to hear then. But it was no longer December, and I was already 22.